There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
