Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
