she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize