How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize