There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
