I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize