Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
