talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize