That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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