their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
