you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
