My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
