I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Church boner. Awkwardddd
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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