Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
