Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize