I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
