she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
