woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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