My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
