somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Do vagina's smell?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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