Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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