did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
im calling her cock vulture from now on
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
