Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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