I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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