I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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