and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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