My balls are so social today.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
