I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
