I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
