What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
