My first STD was from a foam party
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
