But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
