Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
