That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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