At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
