she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
