i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
