i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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