I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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