in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
