O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
