I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
