You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
