handjob tips. give me some.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
