i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
