you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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