Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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