considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize