My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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