We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
