The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
