And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
