Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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