the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just had sex on a roof
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize