so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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