in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
