Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
