This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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