You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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