Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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