i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
