I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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