we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
