There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize