East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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