Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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