And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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