5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
