if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Randomize
