Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
