Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize