This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
