My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
